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Joe "I"
Written by Bob Bassett

Joseph N. Iacovacci, fondly knows as Joe "I", came to Channel 6 from cross-town rival, WPRI-TV, Channel 12. He became a charter member of WTEV, where he was highly regarded in his positions of Business Manager, Chief Accountant and supervisor of a team of competent bookkeepers. Except for a brief stay with the flagship stations of the owners, WGAL-V in Lancaster, Pennsylvania, Joe remained with us until the wholesale dismissal of the "old guard" by the new owners and management beginning in 1980.

His leaving Channel 12 was a story in itself. As he told me, he was a victim of the outfit's program of austerity and attrition, (and not one of incompetence, certainly). He was invited to lunch by the General Manager and midway through the entree, the GM looked Joe in the eyes and said "You're fired." After explaining the reason for this decision, he then asked the stunned Mr. Iacovacci what he wanted for dessert. "I think I'll pass on that - my appetite has suddenly disappeared." Joe replied.

Joe was very well liked. In the seventeen years that I knew him, I never heard him utter a profanity or raise his voice in anger. He was very mild mannered and somewhat self-effacing; I likened him to the cartoon character of the 30's and 40's, Casper Milquetoast, a timid shy and brow-beaten individual. Joe may not have possessed that last characteristic, but he was the butt of several unforgettable and brilliantly conceived practical jokes that probably would not have been successful had they been perpetrated on a more conscious person.

Lee Tanner may have been a misfit in the various jobs he held at the station, but he was a master at creating spur of the moment pranks, and he knew Joe I. to be the perfect foil.

Here are two in point:

One morning Joe came to work sporting a handsome new black Adams hat that he had purchased at the Star Store, New Bedford's leading department store. It took Tanner little time to comment on the had and quickly note the head size as he complimented Joe on his impeccable taster. Later that day, he took the Adams from the hat rack in Joe's office and promptly went down to the Star Store and exchanged it for the smallest size they had. Five o'clock came and Tanner and a few others who were now in on the joke made it a point to be near Joe as he prepared to leave for home. He put on his top coat and now reached for his prized hat - he placed it on his head - Ping! Joe is now an instant combination Stan Laurel and Pinky Lee!

"Well, that's strange. It was a perfect fit when I bought it yesterday. I'll have to go back and exchange it tomorrow." said the bewildered Joe. Naturally, Tanner and the others pretended to be as surprised as Joe, but still everyone broke into gales of laughter and a sheepish Mr. I. left for home, hat in hand.

Sure enough, the next day Joe arrived with another identical hat, but the correct size, and once again, Tanner struck instantly and this time exchanged it for the biggest size in the store. Five o'clock - same thing - only this time, the entire floor is in on the stunt and everyone is waiting for Joe to leave for home. He grabs the hat and za-plop! It's down around his chin! AFter everyone including all of Joe's young bookkeepers had belly laughs, Tanner confessed, but it was not to end there, no sir.

Joe buys a brand new Volkswagon, and it soon becomes his pride and joy. After a few days of his telling everyone in the building about the wonderful mileage he's getting with his little "beetle", Tanner gets another instant brainstorm. He, with the help of a couple of engineers begins to add more gas to the car each day, so it's basically always filled! For several consecutive mornings, the scenario was this:

Joe: "You people won't belive this, but I swear to God Almighty, I'm getting 90 miles to a gallon!! It's incredible! I know that VWs are good on mileage, but this is simply outstanding - WOW!

The next day - Joe: "I'm getting almost 100 miles to a gallon!", he's telling everyone in the building. He's like a child in a candy store with the owner telling him to help himself to everything.

Now it's time for Tanner to burst that balloon of joy. He and the others start siphoning gas from the car each day, leaving just enough for Joe to make it home and to a gas station.

Joe: "I can't understand it. I just can't understand it. I'm getting about 6 miles to a gallon. I'm lucky I made it to work."

Next day - "I took my car into the shop. The mechanic couldn't find anything work - cost me 25 bucks!"

At this stage, Tanner again confessed to the caper and I think, at least I hope, reimbursed Joe.

Joe became the first person anyone thought of when a possible practical joke was in the offing. News Director
Truman Taylor got into the act with a wonderful scene at Joe's expense. To fully appreciate the outcome, Taylor and a few others were able to witness it by peering into Joe's office window which was on the street level.

As Truman tells it: Photographer Frank Clynes came into the station one day with a wireless microphone (this was long before most people had ever heard of them). I suddenly had a mischievous thought and Joe I. was the prefect subject for this new piece of technology. Quietly and secretly, I placed the receiver in the file cabinet in Joe's office and then positioned myself outside the building and began talking into the mike:

"Joe. Help me."

Joe looked up startled. Again the strange muffled voice was heard:

"Joe. I'm stuck in the file cabinet."

Apprehensive, Joe cautiously approached the cabinet and opened the top drawer. Then a loud voice screamed:

"NOT THAT DRAWER, DUMMY! THE SECOND ONE!"

Joe jumped back from the cabinet and dashed out of the office! (End of Taylor's classic story.)

I don't know how Joe was every able to open another file cabinet drawer without expecting to find a gang of little green men living amongst the papers.

Over the course of our friendship I learned that Joe and I had one thing in common: we bother loved jazz and big band music. Joe also told me that he was a frustrated drummer and always had hoped in this youth to be another Gene Krupa, his idol.

ONe afternoon, I was preparing to tape a "Community" show featuring a local big band. The musicians had come into the studio in the morning, and in order to save time, had set up all the stands and instruments, including a complete drum set, which was placed on a foot-high platform in the rear of the orchestra. They then left the station, to return later for the shows.

Earlier in the week I had mentioned to Joe that I was doing a program highlighting a big band of talented musicians, and thought nothing more of it. Early in the afternoon, before anyone else had arrived for the taping, I happened to glance down into the studio from the upper level just in time to see Joe I. stealthily sneak into the area and gingerly approach the drum set. Joe squatted on the stool and picked up a pair of brushes (sticks would have made too much noise). He began to beat out a simple riff, and he was fairly good!

Feeling like the little boy who discovered Santa in "Twas the Night Before Christmas", I continued to spy down on Joe who by now was really absorbed in his work and was building up to a rather furious pace. Probably imagining himself on the stage of the New York Paramount, he was totally immersed in his drumming when SUDDENLY he got so carried away that he fell over backwards, off the foot-high platform and ZOOM-SPLAT right on his ass, taking the stool and half the drums with him.

To this day, he doesn't know anyone saw his "Moment of Greatness"!

Over the years, Joe had a rather large amount of young ladies working in his department, and I along with many other of the guys took note of them from time to time. However, in my case, taking note of one girl had turned into a brief but torrid clandestine affair. It was only a matter of days before it would be physically consummated, but alas, it ended the day her estranged husband came bolting into the building, right past the receptionist and stormed into Vance Eckersley's office demanding that his wife resign - like right now - or he would sue me for alienation of affections and WTEV itself for a cool one million as being the conduit for the affair that began within its walls.

Joe lost a very dedicated and loyal bookkeeper, thanks to me. He knew nothing about the relationship but was told later, and from that point on, was always wary of me and his "girls". After a few weeks he had replaced the girl with another beauty. One day, I innocently asked Joe who the new bookkeeper was, and without pausing a moment he anxiously sputtered, "Bob, leave her alone, she's happily married with two children and besides, you've already cost me one assistant. So do me a big favor and LEAVE HER ALONE!"

I did but it wasn't easy. More on this in the chapter "Six Sex".

Joe I. remains one of my treasured friends and a class individual.
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